各リンク凡例:
… Netflix、
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… YouTube、
… WOWOW on Demand
(リンク先で配信終了となっている場合があります)
- Captain, our weapons are disabled
and our shields are down.
[Spock]
- I have a way to get us outta here.
[Captain]
- How?
Our warp and impulse
drives are also offline.
[Spock]
- Well, my Vulcan friend,
you will soon learn
there's more than one way to skin a cat.
[Captain]
- What!
[M'Ress]
- Oh, I, I'm so sorry, M'Ress.
I, I, I didn't mean to offend you.
[Captain]
- Do your people skin cats?
[M'Ress]
- I, I, I don't know where it came from.
Maybe pioneers?
It's just a figure of speech.
I've never done it.
I wouldn't do it.
[Captain]
- How would you like it if I say
there is more than one
way to disembowel a human?
[M'Ress]
- Hull integrity at 50%.
[Computer]
- Now is not the time to argue this.
We have bigger fish to fry.
[Captain]
- What!
You want to fry me?
[Fish head crew]
- Ensign, please.
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
[Captain]
- How dare you?
[Knickersonian]
- What?
[Captain]
- We Knickersonians are a proud species
who serve the Federation with honor!
You'll forgive me if I
decline to be, "in a twist."
[Knickersonians]
- I am so sorry.
[Captain]
- I
should report this to HR.
[Knickersonian]
- Captain, might I suggest
avoiding figures of speech
until we are safely away?
[Spock]
- All right, everyone, I'm sorry, okay?
It's important that the Federation
make all feel welcome.
[Captain]
And I apologize.
I'm a dumbass.
I screwed up.
[Captain]
- What?
- Asses are dumb to you?
[Ass head man]
- Screws are synonymous
with making mistakes?
I have a perfect record, Captain.
[Screw head man]
- Okay, I, I, I've never
seen you two before.
What, what do you even do?
[Captain]
- We handle water pressure.
[Screw head man]
- Does that need a desk on the bridge?
- Did you-did you just
move your desk here?
[Captain]
- You're asking if I just
moved this big metal console
onto the bridge?
[Screw head man]
- It, it's, it's just,
it's just that I, I, you know,
I haven't seen you before.
And water pressure just
to me seems like it could,
it could be on a lower deck.
[Captain]
(water rushing)
- You were saying?
[Screw man]
- Fine, fine.
[Captain]
- Captain,
the hull is breached, the
next shot will finish us.
[Spock]
- Well, what do you
want me to do about it?
Every time I say something,
it seems to conjure someone up
outta the ether to be offended about it.
[Captain]
Wait, Spock, that's it.
There's more than one way
to decapitate a human woman
who knows how to get us
out of this situation.
[Captain]
And also, this human woman, she loves me.
She loves me for me.
She doesn't tease me
because I always eat chicken fingers
and mac and cheese by saying,
"Ooh, that's kids' food."
Because grownups can enjoy it too.
And also she likes the board game "Risk."
And she lets me have Australia
because maybe I don't need
to rule the whole world.
Maybe I'm just happy with Australia.
And I don't see what's wrong with that.
You're allowed to do peace treaties.
The game allows it.
And someone who doesn't
need to go clubbing
at 10 Forward on a Friday night,
but is happy to just hang
out in my quarters, you know?
Watching old game shows.
The comfort of the music
and the color palette,
and the boop boop boop boop
boop boop boop boop boop.
[Captain]
- How dare you?
Be the man I've always dreamed of.
Now, here's the plan to get out of here.
Divert the power.
[Human Woman]
- Will you marry me?
[Captain]
備考2023.10.29追記: シロート丸出しですが、翻案してみました。